Hello, my cozy loves,
Happy Valentine’s week! First, let me send heaping candy hearts of love and gratitude to each and every one of you. I love writing this newsletter and building this community. It’s you reading that makes it possible.
I love Valentine’s Day, but not in the chocolates and flowers and pressure kind of way. I love it as a reminder to tell the many people I love how much I love them. I love it because of the tradition my husband and I started thirteen years ago of going book shopping together and secretly buying each other books. I love it because we need more love in the world.
Love grows in the small moments, the intentional time spent together. It’s discovering new things about a person you’ve known for years. It’s knowing their coffee order. It’s inviting them to share something meaningful to you.
With that in mind, I’ve come up with fifteen cozy date ideas for you. My challenge to you for this weekend: choose one and make plans with your partner, your best friend, that person you’re working on turning into a best friend, or even yourself.
Walking around town:
Emma Chamberlain hit the nail on the head when she shared on her podcast:
“What I really want to do on the weekends is get dressed up and walk around town. Okay what’s walking around town? Popping into stores. Just looking around. Popping into coffee shops. Getting a coffee. Oh it’s been another hour. I’ll get another one. Getting a pastry.”
This is also how I spend basically every weekend — and it’s even better when you have someone join you along the way. Of course you can feel free to simply let the wind take you, but here are a few ideas.
Coffee and a little shop. This is my dream date. Lucky for me, it’s also my husband’s and it’s how we spend every Saturday morning. We take our books with us and get our coffee to stay. Then we head to a shop, where we usually know the owner, such is our life here in Madison. We get to connect with the community, discover beautiful treasures, and also be back home by the afternoon.
A thrift and antique crawl. I love doing this with my girlfriends! We decide a destination, often one of the many small towns surrounding us, and plot out all the spots we want to hit. Shopping with friends is such an underrated, special experience. You get to wander through the shelves, learn about each other by what you’re drawn to, and yap to your heart’s content.
Neighborhood discovery tour. Whether you make it a mini road trip or choose your own neighborhood, the best way to experience a place is on foot. Head to your chosen destination, park at one end, and start your slow wander. Pop into whatever shops interest you, look at all the menus posted outside the restaurants and choose where you want to have lunch. Maybe there’s a sweet little gazebo where you can sit and read.
Walk around your local botanical garden. You don’t have to spend a lot of money to go on a special and meaningful outing. Even in winter, going for a wander in nature is a balm for the soul. Your botanical garden probably also has a greenhouse which will offer a bursting of life during this bare season. (For those here in Madison - check out Orchid Escape at Olbrich!) Remember that you can often get free tickets to places like this in town through your public library.
Have a gym date. I learned from this Liz Moody Podcast episode that working out together can turn a friend into a best friend. After moving together, we have more meaningful conversations. That’s what I’m currently doing with a particular friend on our gym dates (she doesn’t know this, but now my plan is revealed!). After we do our strength training together, we get coffee as a little treat and chat away.
The Big Night Out:
Sometimes a reservation, a ticket time, or a fancy experience is just the thing to share with someone you love.
Try a new-to-you restaurant. Did any restaurants in your town win any awards in the last year? Is there that new place everyone’s been talking about? Going out to dinner might seem basic, but what’s more soul-connecting and human than gathering around a table and sharing some delicious food?
A night at the opera. This might be a bit niche, but the opera is my very favorite fancy night out. It’s one of the few opportunities, besides weddings, to get super dressed up for a night on the town. If you’ve never seen an opera, I strongly urge you to do so. There’s so much more out there than what you might imagine. For Christmas, my parents gave us tickets to see El último sueño de Frida y Diego at the Lyric Opera in Chicago. I’ve got my sparkly dress picked out and I cannot wait to see it.
Museum after hours. Lots of museums have either special hours or events that keep the museum open later at night. There are often themes and cocktails and an opportunity to see the museum with a slightly different vibe. Check the ones near where you live for any special events!
Take a class together. When we first moved to Madison, Lucas and I loved going to the craft bar just across the way from our apartment. We went to a glass etching workshop one of the first weekends we lived here. The world is your oyster here. Try a cooking class inspired by a trip you recently went on. Take a pottery class and build some wonky bowls that will always make you smile. Check out a class at your local wine shop to improve your palette (or at least give you fancy words to describe the wine).
A wellness experience. In one of my friend’s words, “saunas are very hot right now.” (She claims the pun was accidental.) Personally, I’m not a sauna gal. However, I do think there’s something extremely cozy and romantic about a wellness experience after dark. Think of a couples massage or an aromatherapy yoga class. In our busy lives, taking an opportunity to get out of the house and slow down together can be extremely powerful.
Dates at home:
It turns out you actually don’t have to go anywhere for your date. Here are a few ideas for activities to get you out of your day-to-day routine and focused on spending time together.
Work on a puzzle and listen to records. There’s something beautiful about sitting side by side with someone, working with your hands on a shared task. Time seems to slow down. Doing a puzzle is one of my favorite ways to achieve that feeling. Set up with snacks and tea and set the scene with music. Whether you’re streaming or putting something on the turntable, take turns choosing an album and talk about why you love it.
A couple cute puzzles: Tea tins (1000 pieces), Brunch and cats (1000 pieces), Enchanted (500 pieces)
I highly recommend a puzzle table so you can move around and sort your pieces.
Cozy movie night. I’m not talking Netflix and chill or your regular weeknight TV watching. With a little planning and intention, we can make this feel really special. For example, a Sunday afternoon viewing of Lord of the Rings. We picked up focaccia from a local bakery to serve as our lembas bread, lentil onion rings (to rule them all), dolmas wrapped in grape leaves (elvish vibes, no?), multiple varieties of POH-TAY-TOES, and even some smoked salmon (to catch a fish so juicy sweet).
Crafting cafe. I’m very into mid-morning hang-outs right now. They don’t require an elaborate menu, just some coffee and pastries will do quite nicely. They also tend to not be a several-hours-long commitment. Take it to the next level by choosing a simple, cozy craft that you can do together. I had a bunch of friends over to make vision boards in January and had the best time.
Game night. As previously discussed on this newsletter, my husband and I are very into games. While we do love board games, one of our favorite games to play together is cribbage. My grandma taught me to play when she took me on a trip to Alaska when I was 12 and it’s been incredibly special to share it with Lucas now. Mix up some special cocktails or mocktails, make a charcuterie board, and cozy up with a deck of cards.
Cooking something repetitive. Lots of my suggestions here include making something together. It’s fitting because one of the core tenets of my life is that “making things is magic.” Making food gives us the added bonus of providing nourishment as well. To make the date extra special, choose something that’s perhaps a little tedious or repetitive like making dumplings, rolling lumpia, or decorating cookies. This would be a beautiful opportunity to share a recipe from your childhood with your person.
Finally, your cozy inspiration for the week:
Earlier this week, I shared a note here on Substack about things that I view as “regrettably worth it.” One such item is my vintage Valentine robe I purchased last year. My bathroom is not attached to my bedroom (old house things), so my robe is key for moving between my bedroom and the shower. I love wearing it while I get ready or lounging about on a slow morning. The specific one I have is no longer available in most sizes, but this vintage cake inspired print is so sweet (see what I did there?).
Nice!❤️
Such a great list! I love your tradition of buying books for each other on valentines. That’s so sweet! And I like the ideas for jazzing up a regular movie night.