Gentle goals toward a dream cozy life
In which our heroine moves in the direction of her dreams
Hiya, cozy friend!
I never used to set goals. It felt really hard for me to picture the life I wanted to live, let alone how to get there. But as I’ve gotten older and gotten to know myself more, everything I want to be seems very clear. The great news? I feel like I’m already on the path toward it. The way I feel about achieving goals has also changed. Most of them don’t have a finish line or a way to check them off a list. My aim is to move in the direction of my goals. If I look back a year from now and feel like I’m in a different place than I am today, great. I progressed. That’s all we can really ask of ourselves.
When I did my wheel of the year reading on Halloween (aka Samhain, the witch’s new year), I received a clear and resonant message that I was already on the right track when it came to my goals. So this year, I’m not really adding anything new, which feels so good. I’m not trying to reinvent myself, I’m continuing the growth I laid the groundwork for in 2024.
When I reflected on last year, one of the themes that bubbled up for me was how important creativity is to my overall well-being. I also know I was burning myself out and not giving myself time to actually sit and focus on my creative hobbies, especially the ones that are just for fun. I want to let go of guilt and thoughts of what I should be doing with my time instead, what someone else might view as more productive.
So when it came time to select my word of the year, I knew it needed to have something to do with giving myself that time. I centered around the word “slow” and of course headed immediately to Pinterest for inspiration for my vision board, where I came across a beautiful note.
So that will be my guiding phrase this year:
“I can achieve my wildest creative dreams by going slow and resting often.”
Let’s get into the specifics, shall we? I hope these help you with ideas to set some gentle goals this year that will put you on the path to your own dreams.
Cozy living:
Schedule time at home as seriously as I schedule time with friends. Especially the last few months of 2024, I was feeling extremely overwhelmed and overbooked. I had social plans multiple days a week — which I loved, because I love my friends! But I realized that I wasn’t honoring my own needs as an introvert to have time to recover. So this year, I’m scheduling “no plans days” in my calendar to be at home with my own cozy pursuits. Lucas and I have put a rule into place that if we have two busy weekends in a row, we need to block the following weekend off to be at home and relax.
Continue my journey with paganism. In 2024, I really wanted to learn more about paganism and witchcraft to see if there were spiritual practices I wanted to bring into my own life. I was sort of on and off with this goal, but when I look back at my goal to “learn about paganism” I definitely achieved it. This year, I want to move more into the practicing phase, starting with observing each of the eight sabbaths (the equinoxes and solstices). I love how it gives me a structure for connecting with what’s going on in nature, but is also completely up to my own design.
Become less reliant on my tarot guidebook. When I do my readings now, I flip my card and immediately seize my little book that tells me what all the cards mean. I’ve been practicing tarot for almost three years now though — I know what most of the cards mean. So this year I want to do more readings for friends to get more familiar with the cards and to give myself time to look at what the cards are telling me, not just what my book says.
Continue creating my capsule wardrobe. I’m feeling really good about my progress toward a capsule wardrobe, but I feel like I still have too many items squashed together in my tiny closet. This year, I want to get serious about what pieces truly feel like “me” and which I can let go. Last year, I bought 15 new pieces of clothing (a mix of new and secondhand). I’d like that to be even less this year, focusing on creative styling of what I already have and leaning on my clothing rental for occasions and trying out trends.
Have weekly dates with my husband. This actually came up during a finance check in Lucas and I had last autumn. We were trying to come up with a solution for who should pay for different outings (we have shared savings, but separate checking, which works great for us) so we can avoid the stress when the check comes. We decided to try doing weekly dates that we alternate planning. That means we can decide what to do based on our individual budgets that week. So whether it’s a dinner out, a coffee and reading date, or a walk out onto the frozen lake, financial stress isn’t keeping us from getting out and doing something together.
Plant and tend a cut flower garden. Last year, I went wild with my seed ordering, plotting out a garden with dozens of different herbs and vegetables. The veggie patch did, let’s say, middling to okay. But my cut flower garden in the front yard thrived. I was filling vases of pink-hued zinnias throughout the summer, filling my heart with pride and joy at the same time. So this year, I’m ditching the veg and putting my effort into what I love: flowers.
Health & habits:
Prioritize creativity every day. I’m not setting any number goals for my Substack or Instagram this year. Instead, I want to focus on space to be creative. Because really, that’s why I’m here. In Big Magic Elizabeth Gilbert talks about creativity as something that is inside of you that you must create — not for anyone else, but for the sake of making it. I am happiest when I have ideas flowing and creative projects moving. So I want to make space for that every day.
Tend to my finances. Finances are not my strong suit in any way. It actually pained me to even put a representation of this on my vision board, because I am so avoidant when it comes to money. This year, I want to commit to monthly finance check-ins with Lucas to make sure we’re doing the regular maintenance needed to fund the life we’re building together.
Become a flosser. Speaking of things I’m afraid of: the dentist. I hate it so much, I cry every time. (Even though my dentist, Dr. Courtney, is a lovely and kind person!) I know that not having good oral hygiene habits will only make the experience harder. So I’m committing to being a more frequent flosser — and to actually get to the dentist this year.
Increase my core (and overall) strength. I am perpetually annoyed by the amount of weight loss and wellness-coded diet culture ads that absolutely fill my feed come January. I do not like to put too much attention on these types of goals. However, I want to be strong so I can spend hours hanging wallpaper, digging holes in my garden, and building beautiful things. So I’m challenging my all-or-nothing thinking and swapping it with something-or-nothing thinking and finding small ways to incorporate strengthening exercises and yoga into my routine alongside my daily walks.
Projects I’d love to start at the cottage:
Updating Lucas’s office/the guest room. This room was put together quite quickly as we had guests visiting just a couple weeks after we moved in. Since then, it’s been completely fine, but doesn’t have quite the charm that the rest of the cottage has. I have big plans to turn it into what I’m calling a “Botanist’s Lodge” with lots of cozy textures in a multitude of shades of green. It’s going to be a big project, but I’m so excited to see it finished.
Build a Julia Child inspired pegboard system in our kitchen. Our kitchen is sort of… the worst part of our house. While it will never look like the kitchens on my Pinterest boards (we rent, after all), there are things we can do to make it more functional and a bit more beautiful, starting with installing a pegboard to hold all our spices, cast iron pans, and other kitchen do-dads.
Create faux built in bookshelves around our piano. I have had a disassembled Billy bookcase in its cardboard box leaning in my entryway for two and a half years. This is the year I finally assemble it, paint it, and make it look like it was always there.
I would also really love to go to Prince Edward Island this year so I can stand at Green Gables and cry. I’m not sure it’s going to work in our budget this year, but I’m not going to take it off the board! Send me your positive vibes for cheap airfare please, my kindred spirits!
Notice there are no goals here related to books or reading? That’s because next week’s newsletter will be all about bookish goals for the year! Make sure you’re subscribed so you don’t miss it!
Finally, your cozy inspiration for the week:
In an effort to create more space for creativity — and yet another attempt to become a journaler — I purchased a sketchbook that I am going to turn into a sort of art journal. I don’t want to put too much pressure on myself to draw every day, but I am excited to have a space to create little things with no end goal.
I’m wishing you so much magic in the year ahead.
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Something or nothing - here we come. I also am looking forward to those tarot readings 🧡
These were lovely to read. On the flossing note-- I hated flossing until I switched to a waterpick and now I love the feeling I get after flossing!